Tuesday, April 23, 2019

The Curse of Always Saying “Yes”

Saying “No” is something we learn to do

Did you ever see Jim Carrey in the movie Yes Man? He was a man who had the curse of always saying Yes. Towards the end, his life spirals as everything comes crashing down—all because he said Yes to everything.

This exaggeration is entertaining, but it hurts when it hits a little too close to home.We need to learn that it’s okay to say NO to your friends, family, loved ones, and yes, even to your boss.

None of us wants to hurt people’s feelings and we all want to be liked, but pleasing others sometimes takes a toll on our own lives. It’s time to stand up for your own health and learn an incredible lesson--that the most successful people know how to say NO! Embrace the fact that those who say no are loved and accepted, sometimes more than those who always cave in with an unintended “yes.”

Check out these tips on how to say no.

1. Keep it simple. Don’t go into too much detail trying to justify the fact that you’re saying ‘no.’ Simply, “I’m sorry but I’m not able to help you this time, my schedule won’t allow it.”

2. Tell the truth. Do not, under any circumstances, lie about the reason when you are asked. It will dampen your relationships and professionalism.

3.  Know that there is difference between refusal and rejection.

4.  Refuse to feel guilty for making the right choice. You can’t please everybody. Move forward.

5.  Attempt to encourage if appropriate: “I’m certain you’ll do a great job on the project. Let me know how it goes.”

Remember, when you’re saying no, it simply means that you have already agreed to and committed to something else.

I also have a podcast episode about this, and it’s less than 10 minutes.


Dr. Rob

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