Tuesday, July 2, 2019

When I said Something Stupid

How to avoid, or overcome, regret.

We’ve all been there. Usually when we are stressed or embarrassed, something comes out of our mouth that we regret right away, but we don’t have the emotional strength to “deal with it” in the proper way.  

Two scenarios: one, you’re stressed and you need to be careful not to say something that you will regret later; and two, when you’ve already said something stupid.

This Harvard Business Review article reports that being aware of impending danger allows us to take action BEFORE we blow it.  

1.    Take a few intentional deep breaths. Just concentrating on your breathing instead of the matter at hand will help!

2.    Here is the tricky part, but it’s also the magic: Separate your emotional response from the facts: “I feel like exploding, but here is what's really going on here… just the facts.”

3.    Do not talk back, because this will add to the fire. In the words of the Bible, “a gentle answer turns away wrath.”

But what if you’ve already blown it? There is only one thing to do, and it’s probably the thing you don’t want to do. You must go and offer a LEGIT apology by OWNING only your mistake.

BAD: “When you said X, it made me feel like Y so, that’s why I went off. I’m sorry.”
GOOD: “I should not have said what I did. I feel terrible. Please forgive me. What can I do to make it right?” 

Do you know of someone who had blown it recently or might in the near future? Please forward this blog to them… and have a great week!


Dr. Rob

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