Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Sharing the Dark Side

And the bright side—it’s all part of life

Starting today on my podcast, Your Daily Dose of Growth, my wife and I are doing something unique. We are interviewing each other, and sharing things we’ve never shared before. We go only about 10-15 minutes per day. We’ve recorded 8 of the episodes and we are already going deep. I didn’t plan to share the story of why I got kicked out of a police academy, sued the State of California over it, then dropped the lawsuit. But I did share it. I think that will just be the tip of the iceberg.

As it progresses, we are going to share our marriage struggles over the years, our insecurities, pain we’ve caused, pain we’ve experienced. But it’s not negative. If you know Dawn and I, you understand that we have a positive and upbeat marriage of 34 years.

We want to learn and grow and to help others learn from our mistakes. Ultimately, I know that Leadership Couples struggle just as much as everyone else—sometimes more because of the extra pressure. But too many (most!) leadership couples try to look good to the outside world while things are falling apart on the inside. They wear a smiling mask to cover their sad eyes.

Vulnerability and transparency will help you in many ways, but here are a few important ones:

  1. Forbes notes 5 Powerful Things Happen When A Leader Is Transparent:

    a. Problems are solved faster
    b. Teams are built easier
    c. Relationships grow authentically
    d. People begin to promote trust in their leader
    e. Higher levels of performance emerge
  2. Vulnerability is very powerful. This TED Talk by Brené Brown is one of the most popular ever.
  3. Hiding your real feelings can lead to personality disorders. Remember those days in our lives when we were really, really upset about something? It was hard to sleep, let alone “stop thinking about it” and get some work done. Being honest about our feelings is always the best first step. But it takes courage.
  4. Sharing from the heart doesn’t change the circumstances, but it does change how we feel about it. Your feelings have more control than you think! If you feel like you are angry all the time, there might be a reason why.

Are you ready to take a journey with my wife and I?

Listen to the podcast series, 15 minutes per day, starting right here.

Dr. Rob

Thoughts? HMU at


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