Some (poor) leaders believe that asking for help equals admitting defeat and showing weakness. Guess what? That’s absolutely wrong!

Heidi Grant, a social psychologist, says this:

“Your performance, development, and career progression depend more than ever on your seeking out the advice, referrals, and resources you need.”

So when you think about it, it’s actually asking for help that’s a sign of strength—admitting that you realize that you need help is a mark of a true leader. The greatest leaders get the help they need!

Here are some useful tips to help you show your strength by seeking help.

1. Shift the focus to the benefits of helping. You’d be surprised how much people want to help. All of the research points that direction… so do not take that away from them! Avoid language along the lines of “Can I ask for a favor” or “I feel bad for asking you this…” Instead you can say, “I need help in a specific area—and I think you are the perfect person to ask. You are really good at ___________. I have a few questions to help me improve. Is this a good time? Allow them to feel the high of helping you.

2. Gratitude and appreciation win the day. When someone helps, ALWAYS follow up with, “The fact that you took your time to invest in me… that will not be forgotten. How can I thank you for this extra special kindness?!” People love positive feedback.

3. Check back in! Follow up with a quick note or email letting them know when you changed your behavior in an area they helped you with.

4. Pay it forward. Help someone else in the same area or a similar area. Let them know that you are just learning these truths. Let the person who helped you know that now you are able to help others.

To summarize: asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you self-aware and strong!

And when you do ask for help, treat it seriously. When someone invests time in you, make them the hero and let them know the impact they are making.

Where do you need help?

Dr. Rob

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