Being open to receiving feedback is a very good skill. But actually asking for feedback…THAT IS A GREAT SKILL. One you should develop and use often. But it can be tricky when you are asking for the advice of family members over the holidays. Please remember this..

1. Don’t ask for (advice or perspective on) something too big or too small. If you ask about financial strategy and your family member isn’t an expert, they might get offended or feel like you’re talking down to them. If you say, “What Ice Cream flavor should I choose?” the person will say, “Make your own decision.” Pick something meaningful and doable.

2. Usually it’s more meaningful if it’s one-on-one. “Hey, could I get everyone’s opinion on something…” That isn’t going to make that person feel special, or appear to be especially humble.Check this out: “Hey bro, I’d love to grab 10 minutes of your time later, I’d really like your opinion on something.” That person is already feeling appreciated!

3. Using the right words will help!

     a. GOOD ways to start the conversation:

          i. I’d like to get your perspective on something I’ve been thinking about.
          ii. May I please get your help with something?
          iii. I need some help thinking through something, and I think you’re the perfect one to ask.

b. BAD ways to start the conversation:

         i. Hey everyone, could I get your opinion?
         ii. I get to make some big decisions at work, I wonder what you would do if you were in my shoes?
         iii. Let me run something past you to see if you can figure it out…

 
If you’ll be humble, vulnerable, and ask someone to help you, they will recognize that you are teachable. They will also be complimented that you asked them specifically.

And if you thank them appropriately, you’ve won their respect and you’ve gained influence.

When with your family and friends, ask questions and listen with your ears and your heart.

Dr. Rob

PS. Remember, no blog next week. Spend extra time loving on those most precious to you.

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