Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Confronting Reality!

These few things might be holding you back

Last week was probably my MOST raw and transparent blog EVER. As we go through Mark Miller’s book “Smart Leadership,” I will share a few more of my life stories.

Let’s get back to “confronting reality.”

Mark’s book points out that it’s easier said than done. Friends, MANY leaders struggle here: they have trouble confronting reality!

Here are a few of the reasons:

  1. Fear of failure

    If you’ve been around LeaderTribe for some time, you already know that I encourage leaders to embrace failure—as long as it’s failing forward! Everyone fails—it’s very rare to get something right the first time. When champions fail, they evaluate, get better, and get back up. Learning from major setbacks is one of the top four behaviors of the best CEOs.

    Your failures will be exposed—it’s always best if you’re the one to expose them.

  2. Life is good, so you don’t change

    If you’ve listened to my life story (check out my podcasts here) you’ll know that I did some pretty outrageous things in college. But life was good! I was popular, I was having the time of my life—but that was also because I was hiding my reality.

    I became the pledge class president (new members) of the biggest fraternity on campus. Why? I was trying to prove that I was popular and friendly, etc. And it worked. Until we started doing all the crazy things you do when you are a pledge in a fraternity. (Do you remember the movie Animal House?)

    Most pledges are 18- or 19-year-old university students, trying to get in with the “popular crowd.” After reading last week’s blog, you can see how that was incredibly attractive to me.

    But we ended up doing really stupid things.

    We “had to” drive from the fraternity house to the store in reverse (!) to purchase things for upperclassmen. We had to crash other fraternities' events or serenade sororities with little clothing on in the winter. Those are some of the things you can share. You look back and ask, “What were you thinking?” We weren’t. We were young people who wanted to impress others. I’ve done much praying and asking for forgiveness for those years.


    Friends, that is a huge weakness! Improve, get better, get a great coach, and be your best… but not because you are looking for others’ approval. If you maintain that posture, your happiness is forever controlled by someone else. That’s not healthy. It’s time to change your future.

  3. You are confident, bordering on cocky

    Confidence is not a bad thing! If it’s based in humility, practice and hard work—go for it. But after a few wins, we can get cocky. “I know how to do this." “I got this.” etc. Then you go back to the same thing that helped you get good… and that keeps you from ever going from good to great.

    ***DANGER! Often people are not aware that confidence turns into arrogance. Who is going to approach them? Here’s how I’m famous for asking it, “Who is going to love them enough to say something?” In my leadership coaching business, it’s one of the hardest and most effective things I get to do. Take a risk and help someone, the same way that you hope someone would help you.
  4. You are too busy to sit down and slow down

    We’re all busy—if you tell people how busy you are, that’s a weakness! Stop bragging about it and pinning that medal on your chest for others to see. Build a little bit of margin into your life to reflect. Or stay the same. Burnout was at an all-time high last year. Sure, part of that was the pandemic. But a big part is that leaders had never learned to establish coping skills in their lives. Take a step back. You control your destiny, not someone else. Do this! Step back and reflect on confronting your reality.

    But here’s a hard truth: The more we rush through life, the more we miss out on. There is a HUGE difference between being busy and being productive. Guess which person is happier? That will be you when you make the bold choice to slowdown.


There are more reasons that Mark Miller goes over in the book, but here’s a question I’d like to ask you:


Are you having trouble confronting reality? If yes, why?

Mark’s book is enlightening. You’ll enjoy it.

If I can help, you know where to reach me:

Much love, and remember: I’m always rooting for you!

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