How to NOT be a Wimp… at least not on the outside.

It ends up that “Do it scared” is really is good advice.

After decades of research and selling more than 2 million copies of The Leadership Challenge, Dr. James Kouzes knows leadership. The guy is awesome. When I talked to him, he went directly to courage as a secret ingredient for leaders, but an ingredient that is often missing.

How important is courage? After surveying more leaders than anyone else in the world, he and his co-author concluded:

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What It Really Takes To Be Happier

My favorite research study of all time.

Last week this blog focused on my favorite TED talk of all time. Shawn Achor referenced some research that I have been studying for more than a decade. I originally became interested in the research after hearing Chuck Colson speak. Yeah, the same Chuck Colson that was President Nixon’s hatchet man. This is the same Chuck Colson who went to jail for his role in Watergate (younger readers, look it up!). Chuck was referencing a “recent” study noting that “while no one knows what makes people happy,” the researchers discovered that happy people all have one thing in common: they are thankful!

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“Oh, That’s What’s Causing That!”

Unforgiveness affects Guys and Ladies differently

Here’s what the research indicates:

Guys: Lack of forgiveness tends to slowly erode your social confidence. When you are around others you start to become quieter. That’s because if you haven’t forgiven, then internally it is harder for you to trust. The longer this goes on, the more unable you are to communicate what’s going on inside. Rather than being willing to give helpful insights, you choose to not say much of anything. Your undetected insecurity leads you to continuously analyze (judge) others. Many guys already struggle in some of these areas, but forgiveness issues compound the problem.

Ladies: Holding on to an offense causes many of your interactions to seem harsher than you intended (to others, not to you). Sometimes your thoughts seem to be tainted by hostility. You can’t see it, you think everything is fine: “Don’t worry, I wasn’t really mad.”

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Don’t Lead (At least not in these 3 situations)

Why you should love good leadership more than leading.

As a “leadership guy,” you would think that I like to be leading most of the time. That simply isn’t true. I love good leadership; when I see lousy leadership, I’m tempted to jump in and rescue the situation. But that is rarely appropriate.

The biggest leadership problem that I see, or at least the problem I see most often, is lack of clarity. When people are confused, it’s unfair and it drives me crazy. People deserve better. But, if it’s not my rodeo, I’ll sit in the stands and cheer from the sidelines (and learn what not to do).

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S.T.A.Y. Stop Talking About Yourself

W.A.I.T. Why Am I Talking?

Everyone loves a good listener (and often I’ve been unloved).

My long-term friends are in shock right now; they can’t believe that Rob McCleland is writing about talking less and listening more. Stop talking? I’ve been lousy at that most of my life. Trying to overcome my insecurities or overcompensating for my lack of preparation, I’ve tended to talk too much. Sometimes, way too much.

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