It turns out that the best (and fastest) way to jumpstart your personal growth is not by doing something, it’s by stopping doing something. It’s a temptation that you and I must resist everyday. Are you ready? You must stop… feeling sorry for yourself!

Feeling sorry for yourself puts someone else in charge of your life. Your motto becomes “It’s not my fault,” and you resign yourself to settling for mediocrity (and that’s best case scenario!). If you allow the thought patterns to continue, you’ll justify not giving your best (Why should I?) and commiserating with other people who see themselves as victims of society.

Unfortunately this theme is personal and all too familiar.

My life was that of a victim: a vortex of hopelessness due to circumstances far beyond my control. As a young person I grew up on welfare, embarrassed at the alcoholism, squalor, and rotating people who visited my house at 2 a.m. when the bars closed. As a young teen, I feebly attempted to shield my sisters from some of the negative influences of our “home life.” I put on my best act at school because I wanted to be popular. But even from a young age, my skillset was in place and the message was clear: milk the system for all it’s worth. What would you have told a kid like me? Why should I try hard or give it my best?

The answer in my case is surprisingly simple. A few caring adults (Teachers, coaches, and the greatest neighbors ever) encouraged me along the way… it made all the difference! Were these people financial benefactors? NO. Just good people who said, “If you’d try hard, you’ve got what it takes to go to college someday,” or “Try again; don’t give up so easily,” or “If you’d practice, you could be really good at that.”

Here is what’s crazy: I believed them! I started working on me and forgot to feel sorry for myself. I’m forever grateful. I spend my life encouraging kids who need about 4 hugs and 1 kick in the butt.

You can’t feel sorry for yourself and give your best effort. The two just don’t go together. CLICK TO TWEET.

The Bottom Line: Feeling sorry for yourself destroys your ability to grow. Period. End of story. Stop doing that today—and you’ll have a brighter tomorrow.

Is there a time that you felt sorry for yourself? Have you had the privilege of helping others get over their self-pity? Leave your comments below.